Can I have it?

Oh, Jesus...you said if I seek you with all I have then you would grant me the desires of my heart...Papa, I'm asking. I've sought you and spent the last few years simply trying to be obedient to your voice, no matter the cost. It's my hearts desire to abide in you, with you...but now, I'm asking. I'm asking for this one...
I don't want to hide what I feel, pretending its not there and attempting to move on when in actuality, all I'm doing is lying and trying to cover something that has been there for years.
Did You speak directly to me? No. Did I hear your audilble voice? No. Did you send an angel to visit me in the night to deliver me the message...? No.
But ya know what, sometimes you don't have to...sometimes all you have to do is look in front of you and see the beautiful gifts God has given to you and watch in awe as something stunning and amazing is formed...that's what I've done. I'm watching this beautiful creation from my daddy and wanting, wishing so badly that it is true..that what appears from the outside is indeed pure on the inside and something I will walk in for the rest of my life. I feel like I'm seeing my other half...someone that fits to me to compose a completion. It's been built, molded...it's ready. All they have to do is be put together...and trying to find it anywhere else just seems fake...and impossible to get as close as what already exists.
It's suprising but it makes sense...
So, Jesus...I"m asking...I'm asking with an heart overflowing of a desire that I'm finally ready to admit exists...and exists in a powerful way...

Can I have it?