In the eleven days that have passed since my last entry, my life has been caught up into a whirlwind that has yet to touch the ground...
What do you do when what you ask for and exists only in a dream becomes a reality?
What do you do when you find yourself experiencing a love that is beyond measure, dually wonderful and excruciatingly painful?
What do you do when you find yourself facing your worst fear...vulnerability...knowing there is no escape?

I don't know what you do...I have fallen in love with the most amazing man I've ever known. He inspires me. He sharpens me. He brings me to life with a simple word. His touch takes my breath away and the thought of spending my life with him makes me think forever just isn't long enough.

I love the way he throws his head back when he laughs. I love the way he clears his throat and shifts his body when he is about to say something important. I love the way his eyes get really small when he smiles. I love the way he embraces life. I love the way he gets excited about small things...watching a chunk of wood burn into small coals. I love the way he loves people like I do. I love the way he shares my heart to love the nations, all people, all colors, all races. I love the way he wants to be a father the way I want to be a mother...we want adopt as many children as possible, starting with Korea. I love how he refuses to settle for anything less than God's heart for every person he encounters...no matter the time or place.

But at the same time....it's terrifying. It is undoubtedly the scariest feeling I've ever felt...to walk forward with my heart on my sleeve, knowing he IS worth the risk. WE are worth the risk. I hate vulnerability...it's the one thing I"ve consistently tried to avoid since I was young. But...well, here I am. But I trust him...and I trust Jesus...and I am staring my fear at its core and not allowing it to take refuge in my heart. I choose to agree with and in the goodness of my King. HE IS FAITHFUL! HE WILL DELIVER EVERY ONE OF HIS PROMISES! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!

Life is beautiful. Life is amazing.

And what's life without a risk?....

And after all, I did get permission to fall.