A Merry Christmas Indeed.

I must say that the past week of Christmas celebrations has far surpassed any holiday in my recent memory. Of course, childhood memories of running down the hallway to see the gifts Santa brought and the smells of hickory roasted nuts and honey-baked ham are permanently etched in my heart but this Christmas...this Christmas...was amazing. Maybe it was because I was with Mark, my best friend and love, 24-7...a scenario that proved there are simply not enough hours in the day for us to be together...only 24 hours in a day?...
Mark was in Dalton and drove back to Nashville on the 22nd to play with Chris in his show...it was amazing! Those guys flow with Holy Spirit in a way I’ve never really seen or felt before, immediately bringing the presence of God and creating a direct connection with Papa’s heart. We left the next morning for Dalton to spend time with his family. I know his family pretty well and know they love me so I wasn’t too nervous...until we were almost there. I realized that although I seen them several times throughout the past few years, this time it was different...really different. I wasn’t Mal, Mark’s friend who travels to Africa. I was Mal...Mark’s serious girlfriend...But when I arrived my butterflies subsided and I immediately felt at home. I love and respect his entire family...especially his mom. There is a place in her heart that is really similar to a place in my own heart...this was made obvious when she gave me a special Christmas gift. She gave me this beautiful silver bowl with fruit embellishments...and a box of salt. She had a dream and felt the Lord saying that He was giving me salt and that I would be fruitful. What she didn’t know was this...when I was in Mozambique and trying to decide whether or not to leave, papa told me that I was losing my salt...that the life and taste that I had once carried was wilting and my salt had lost its taste. So needless to say, when I got this salt...I was dumbfounded. Loss for words. She gave me salt. Wow. THAT....THAT....was God. IS God.
Anyway, we had an amazing time with his family...we headed back to Chapel Hill on Christmas Day, enjoyed some grub and opened a mountain of gifts. So a few weeks ago Mark had told my mom and dad how we wanted to learn how to cook real food---Mom, using this concept as a theme for majority of Mark’s gifts, got us MATCHING EMBROIDERED APRONS. Yep. That’s right. Matching embroidered aprons. I mean, its cute...a bit embarrassing but still kinda cute. I got an IPOD. Super cool.
Yesterday we drove down to Birmingham, Alabama to see Beth and Chuck Cooper, an awesome couple who I met on my first trip to Mozambique who took on a really special “mom and dad” role in my life. THAT...was amazing. I really wanted them to meet Mark and get their blessing...they loved him! And Mark loved them! We spent some time praying and prophesying over each other and that was awesome. Beth is so prophetic and totally read our mail. She said some stuff that was totally right on with Mark and I...stuff I will address later for the sake of me going to bed. I’m tired.

We can’t escape His goodness if we use it as our dwelling place.

He who dwells in shelter of the Most High will abide in the presence of the Almighty.

Wishing All a Merry Christmas

My wishes for you this holiday season and over the new year....

Love Deeper.
Laugh Louder.
Cry Harder.
Live Extravangantly.
Embrace Life.

Take every moment for what it's worth; find the life, find the Jesus, in every moment...never underestimate the power of one second, one conversation. The revelation surrounding the "nowness" of Jesus is life-changing...seek after it. The Word promises that "blessed are the hungry...they shall be filled." However big your cup is, that is your portion...ask for more...and you will receive more. How hungry are you?

Walk on, my friends, walk on. Embrace the good gifts he has for you, choosing to abide in the sonship of our Papa and live an extravagant life for our King.

May your holidays be spent with abudant blessings from the throne room and your new year be only a reminder of the faithfulness of sweet Papa to fulfill every one of his promises...

A few months ago, I stood on the edge of a cliff of jagged rocks---they overlooked a sea of vastness and beauty, the waves sparkling as if millions of sapphire diamonds were shimmering under the sun. At that particular moment, I had no where to turn...except to my sweet Jesus. No direction could lead me where I wanted to go---hell, I didn't know where I wanted to go. I asked the Lord, "What do you do...what do you do when everything you thought you knew, you don't know...and the very place you never wanted to be is exactly where you are. What do you do when you have no direction and have no idea what the next minute holds.." When Papa answered, he said something that resounded in my Spirit and has will forever remain etched in my mind....he said...

You Let God be God.

Those words sparked a moment where I have never felt so small...I found myself closing my eyes, feeling the magnitude and majesty of our King, and knowing it is He and I...no others. no sounds. no people. He is the constant. He is the continuity. A direct connection with my creator, a place of intimacy unbeknownst to the rest of the world.

I was reminded of this moment tonight after I asked Mark if he had specific days that stood out in his mind and heart as the best days of his life...he had a few...I had a few. I love our relationship. He is becoming my best friend. We can talk for hours about the dreams and visions of our hearts...searching for truth. substance. something thats real....

So much is happening right now. So much. Jesus give me dreams.

In the eleven days that have passed since my last entry, my life has been caught up into a whirlwind that has yet to touch the ground...
What do you do when what you ask for and exists only in a dream becomes a reality?
What do you do when you find yourself experiencing a love that is beyond measure, dually wonderful and excruciatingly painful?
What do you do when you find yourself facing your worst fear...vulnerability...knowing there is no escape?

I don't know what you do...I have fallen in love with the most amazing man I've ever known. He inspires me. He sharpens me. He brings me to life with a simple word. His touch takes my breath away and the thought of spending my life with him makes me think forever just isn't long enough.

I love the way he throws his head back when he laughs. I love the way he clears his throat and shifts his body when he is about to say something important. I love the way his eyes get really small when he smiles. I love the way he embraces life. I love the way he gets excited about small things...watching a chunk of wood burn into small coals. I love the way he loves people like I do. I love the way he shares my heart to love the nations, all people, all colors, all races. I love the way he wants to be a father the way I want to be a mother...we want adopt as many children as possible, starting with Korea. I love how he refuses to settle for anything less than God's heart for every person he encounters...no matter the time or place.

But at the same time....it's terrifying. It is undoubtedly the scariest feeling I've ever felt...to walk forward with my heart on my sleeve, knowing he IS worth the risk. WE are worth the risk. I hate vulnerability...it's the one thing I"ve consistently tried to avoid since I was young. But...well, here I am. But I trust him...and I trust Jesus...and I am staring my fear at its core and not allowing it to take refuge in my heart. I choose to agree with and in the goodness of my King. HE IS FAITHFUL! HE WILL DELIVER EVERY ONE OF HIS PROMISES! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!

Life is beautiful. Life is amazing.

And what's life without a risk?....

And after all, I did get permission to fall.